Maybe, arena rock like Def Leppard is just not my cup of tea, but this album was everything I expected it to be and by that I mean absolutely ridiculous. I have no idea what millions of people were thinking in the 80's, but this is a testament of how off-kilter that thinking was. Granted, Leppard's arguably biggest hit "Pour Some Sugar On Me" is still, to this day, highly revered in the stripper circuit. But amongst the greatest albums of all time?
Now, I get it. Def Leppard fell on hard times (particularly their drummer who tragically lost his arm in an auto accident) and producer Mutt Lange apparently did things in the studio that were previously unheard of: backmasking, putting noises from the Apollo space mission into songs, using parts of other Leppard songs as backing, etc. All this is well and fine, until you listen to the godawful lyrics that run rampart throughout this album. I mean these lyrics are absolutely abysmal. So, much so that I don't really feel like rehashing this album. Don't believe me? Look no further to that delightfully (read as excruciatingly painful) titled tune "Armageddon It." Aside from the fact that this is the worst play on words I have even had the nightmare of coming across, the song contains such great lyrics as "You say love is won when you get some / But then your finger won't trigger the gun." And let's not forget the chorus which asks us "Yeah, but are you gettin' it? Armageddon it," just to ask again, "Really gettin' it? Armageddon it." This is so ridiculous I don't know how to even punctuate that last statement correctly; meaning it should never have been written once, let alone discussed. Also, this song contains some water from that all too familiar well Def Leppard frequently visits which is repeating the same goddamn lines over and over and over and over. Shoot me in the eardrums, please. So much hatred and I have only described one song! One freakin' song!
I'm sorry. Maybe, some of our frequent readers (you know? the ones that may or may not read but don't leave comments either way) are yearning for more description on this album, but I can't do it. This albums sucks, for lack of a better (read as harsher) term. I know there are bound to be a group of readers who detest the thoughts of this blog, but I challenge them to come up with any sort of cohesive argument about why this should be on the list above any of the last 28 albums, let alone appear at all. If they try, I'd love to punch them in the throat.
P.S. I challenged Mike to write a positive review about this album. Let's see if he was able to.
-d.
A true classic, Hysteria broke the mold for great hard rock albums in the eighties. Brilliant guitar playing, deeply thoughtful lyrics and restrained production add up to make one of the all time greats. Def Leppard had always sustained a reputation as a true metal band, and wouldn’t be letting up for this album, Instead they created a raw, straight ahead rocker, not seen since the likes of MC5 and Television. Mutt Lange has said that they set out to make a metal version of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, but they may have actually topped it. Not a single bad word can be said about this record, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
The first burst of God-given amazingness is Women, a balls to the wall……… I’m sorry, I just can’t do it…. I promised Danny I would try to write a positive review and really slather on the praise, even if it was just a joke. But, damn it, I feel dirty just typing the words. Not the good kind of dirty either. More like uncle-drunky-mcbadtouch dirty. I mean this whole recording is just abysmally bad. I’ve actually lost a rather large amount of faith in God over it’s mere existence. The production is one of the greatest crimes the 80’s committed, with so much reverb and echo that any hopes of hearing actual tone are completely lost. There is no soul, feel or depth at all. I am actually angered to the point of violence by the whole thing.
First off, where do the guys in Def Leppard get off referring to themselves as metal? I pray that before he died, Dio hunted each of them down and used his wizards magic to punish them for their evils (For those who don’t know, Dio was a wizard. He was actually Merlin. That’s how badass Dio was.) But let’s move on to the actual music. I give Rick Allen credit for coming back from losing an arm, but the drum sound is simply garbage. It sounds huge at first, until you give it a good close listen and you realize the drums have the most over compressed, plastic tone ever recorded. They actually multi-tracked each and every beat of each and every song on the album. Check it out, every time you hear a snare hit, you’re actually hearing ten snares at once, with about twenty different layers of reverb laid over them. It’s ridiculous! To go through so much work, just so you could be lazy and not worry about getting the best take, goes against everything I have ever learned as a musician. Stupid stupid stupid…..
Hey Joe Elliot. You don’t have to tell me which instrument is about to play a fill. I’ll probably figure that out for myself when I, y’know, hear it. I have absolutely no need or desire to hear you yell “Guitar!!” whenever Steve Clark is about to play the simplest of riffs. Jackass. For that matter, you can pretty much stop singing all the words. There isn’t a single lyric here that came close to catching my attention and making me stop and analyze what I was hearing or debate it’s meaning. I mean, really, how many times on one album can you use the words “make love”? When you make love, When I make love to you, Making love to you, You think that making love is the way to make it, I’ll make love to you. Those are all in one song. ONE FUCKING SONG! What the hell was going on in the studio dur-…..oh yeah…. Cocaine.
I’m not even going to touch the individual songs. I would actually burst a damn vessel if I tried. It would probably look like Scanners. But a few other things. The bass is called bass for a reason. Turn down the knob that says Treble, break it off, and shove it straight up your ass. Once your done putting the coke up there first, of course. The guitar work is a joke. Lazy, derivative, and completely lacking in original riffs. The fact that I have to listen to music like this is why I don’t own guns.
This is the only way I will ever listen to “Pour Some Sugar on Me” again.
-tfm
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